


The Most Terrible Poverty

by mithrel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blanket Permission, Gen, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-26
Updated: 2009-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-11 14:05:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/479320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas finally loses the last of his grace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Terrible Poverty

[ ](http://s184.photobucket.com/albums/x155/mithrilluin/?action=view&current=nominee.png)

When his Grace finally drains away completely, it’s in the middle of a battle.

He collapses with a cry, hands over his face. He barely feels the demon gash his arm with a knife.

It’s all a blur after that, until he feels hands shaking him. “Cas. _Cas!_ ”

“Is he OK?” He dimly recognizes the second voice as Sam's.

“I dunno. Was there something on that knife?”

“We gotta get him outta here, Dean.”

Hands help him up and lead him away. He doesn’t resist. Gone. It’s gone. He’d thought being cut off from Heaven would prepare him for this, but it’s worse than he could ever have imagined. Even if he couldn’t hear the Host, he knew they were still _there_. Now there’s nothing, just blankness and emptiness and cold.

He’s pushed to sit down, and hears doors slamming. The Impala. Someone’s sitting next to him. “Here,” Dean says gruffly, handing him a wad of cloth. “Keep pressure on that.”

He tries, but he can’t think. Dean sighs and presses the cloth to his arm. “How far?”

“Only a couple minutes,” Sam replies from the front.

He blanks out completely after that. The next thing he knows he’s in the motel room and Dean’s kneeling in front of him, minus his overshirt, stitching up his arm. He doesn’t even feel it.

When Dean’s done, he looks up at him, eyes wide. “Cas?”

“It’s gone.”

Dean’s brow furrows. “What’s gone?”

“My Grace.” And saying it brings it fully home to him. His Grace is _gone_. He’s not an angel anymore. A shudder racks his body, making his teeth clack together.

“Shit, Dean, he’s going into shock! We have to get him warm!”

Dean pulls him up and over to the bed, takes off his shoes and bundles him under the covers. He’s still shivering, even after Dean takes the covers from the other bed and piles them on top of him as well.

Gone. His Grace is gone. He’s human. Any hope he had of going home is lost forever. A dry sob tears its way out of his throat, and suddenly there’s a warm weight against him. Dean.

He turns to him blindly, sobbing into his shoulder as Dean repeats, “Shh, Cas, it’s OK. It’ll be OK.”

Things have never been further from OK. Dean doesn’t, can’t know. He’s been an angel for millennia, and now that identity has been stripped away. Even when he’d been cut off from Heaven, he’d still had his wings, still had his powers even though they were reduced. Now it’s gone, all gone.

But as Dean holds him he feels his worry, his anger, his inevitable self-loathing. _This is my fault. He did this for me._

That makes him glance up, startled. His Grace is gone. He shouldn’t be able to hear thoughts anymore. But Dean’s thoughts stand out clear and stark in his mind, all the louder for being the only ones.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Dean stares at him, puts a hand on his face. _You heard that?_

Cas nods.

“But…but you shouldn’t be…”

“I know. But it seems I am anyway.”

Dean shakes his head, looking uncomfortable. “What…?”

Cas shrugs slightly. “I don’t know. Maybe there’s some shred of my Grace left.” There’s an icy core inside him still, that the blankets and Dean can’t touch. His mind is moving sluggishly.

Sam comes in with a steaming cup. “Here.”

Cas sits up slightly, and drinks what turns out to be tea. It chases away the last of the cold, at least for now.

Sam looks at him, his face worried. “Will you be OK?”

Cas shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you will,” Dean speaks up. “You’ve got us.”

And Cas hears what he means but doesn’t say. _You’ve got me. I’ll fix this._

Cas almost smiles at the fierceness of the tone. He’s lost his Grace, but he still has Dean. Perhaps things will be alright after all.


End file.
